Tomboy Blues

Reading a Buddhist article on dealing with jealousy, I come across this paragraph:

... it is an unrealistic expectation that any one person will be our special perfect match, like our "other half," who will complement us in all ways and with whom we can share every aspect of our lives. Such an expectation is based on the ancient Greek myth told by Plato that originally we were all wholes, who then were split in two. Somewhere "out there" is our other half; and true love is when we find and reunite with our other halves. Although this myth has become the foundation for Western romanticism, it does not refer to reality. To believe in it, like believing in the beautiful prince who will come to rescue us on a white horse, is an acquired, culturally specific phenomenon.

I agree.That's why if and when you find a person that feels just right, you do what you can to nourish it and grow it. Love is ever expanding, if you allow and welcome it.

I found out today that a previously very close friend of mine have locked down her twitter account and unfriended me in Facebook. There were previously misunderstandings but I thought we passed them because she told me that she forgave me and we were good. She even referred to me as her best friend. I guess it's all lip service. It is still hard for me to understand when people just end relationships like this so abruptly, without any explanation.

True friends are suppose to love/accept/forgive you no matter what and try work things out with you. I guess my definition of what a true friend is doesn't apply to other people's definitions and I need to realize that.

My life is full of mistakes, and I know that. But I welcome those mistakes so that I can learn from them and grow from them. I never ever do anything knowingly hurtful on purpose, ever. It's just not who I am. If you are a true friend to someone, you will do what it takes to be a true friend, even if it means telling them how they fucked up and hurt you so that they can realize and understand. Then you both can work pass this. I guess my friendship really is worth nothing to some people and it really saddens me.

I forgot to post these here. Whups. Got them done back in April-ish? :-) Finally... and now I want more!

In photo: Left (right wrist): Compassion, Right (left wrist): Love.  Each with lotus flowers under the characters which symbolizes rebirth and renewal.

Found on http://xkcd.com/55/

My brother's friend is a Chinese Medicine doctor! He studied with one of the best doctors in Florida and he now does this for only friends and families.  I saw him today and he prescribed me a week's worth of medicine to brew. I just drank my 1st evening's dose... OMG so bitter. SO SO SO BITTER. Seriously so glad I have some chocolate to counter balance the yuck in my mouth. I hope this helps me. I am so tired of being sick all the time. My immune system blows chunks. Here's to hoping.

"Oopsies... my red unmentionable is showing..."

I cleaned, scrubbed and semi-organized! Gave away a car trunk load of clothes!
More to do, more to do!
Even cooked for friends on Sat night and went shopping on Sunday night too.
More to do more to do!

I will get my haus cleaned up this week, I hope. :)

I did a good deed today and made a homeless man cry. It was quite touching really.
I was on my way to work after I got off the bus. At the cross walk, I saw a man standing at the light desperately asking passerby's "I just need 15 cents..." and everyone just ignored him.  I first passed him but felt the energy of how sad he was and turned back around after taking 3 steps.  I pulled out my wallet and gave him $3 and started asking him questions. He said this is like the first day in Seattle.  He came from Arizona and is on his way to find his daughter and needed to get to Olympia, WA.  He started crying and said that I was the first person that was nice to him.  I gave him a hug cuz he looked like he could use one. He told me he hadn't eaten anything in 2 days.  I said, why do you need the 15 cents for? He said he needed to make 50 cents so he can buy popcorn. :( I said, you know what, let me take you to get breakfast. He at first didn't want to because he didn't want to beg and he said I didn't need to do that for him. I told him I wanted to and he needs food to have energy to keep on his quest.  I took him to a breakfast nearby and had him pick what he wanted to eat.  We got him a corned beef hash full breakfast with eggs and toast. He kept asking me why am I doing this? I showed him my new tattoos of Love & Compassion and said that we are all connected, that I don't have to, but I want to. He then ask me if I was Christian. I said, no, I'm a Buddhist. He was surprised and said, wow.  I gave him $5 more to help him get bus passes to get to Olympia.  While he was waiting for his breakfast, I said goodbye to him cuz I was already late for my 9:30 meeting. I wished him luck on finding his daughter.  He was so touched that he started crying again. I almost cried too but I had to get to work so I didn't let myself get teared up.  It felt great to be able to help a soul. We are all very fortunate and if you can help someone out, please do. Every little bit helps.

It's the LOG song from Ren & Stimpy!!!

What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs
Rolls over your neighbor's dog?
What's great for a snack and fits on your back?
It's Log, Log, Log!

It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good!
Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log!
Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!

Log, from Blammo!