5 posts tagged “kindness”

In honor of this day, I didn't eat any meat.

What I learned is that if you're kind to people they are most likely kind back to you too... especially strangers.

I was at a Japanese grocery store today because I don't really have much food in my place yet.  There was this really stranger homeless person, dressed like someone out of a fantasy movie, walking around, talking to products and fish.  People were generally trying to stay away from him as he wondered around the aisles while whistling loudly.  I almost ran into him a couple of times and each time I just smiled at him.  He was surprised that I said hi to him and smiled back me.  The last time he actually said "oh, hi" and then I said hello back.  Moral of the story is that I wasn't afraid of this seemingly strange person.  I just looked at him as a free spirited person and treated him like how I would have treated anyone else.  I felt like his smile back to me was genuine and I think it made both of our day.  It was very cool and just to show that the smallest amount of kindness goes a long way.

Oh I also purchased two big bottles of the Japanese Ume Plum wine.  If you haven't tried this, you need to.  It is so dericious like desert in liquid form.  The kind I got has actual Ume Plums in it and you can eat it after the liquid is gone. Ichiban!

Lately I've been feeling really super duper, especially after moving to my new place.  I am getting a lot of stuff done, unpacking, organizing, and working out regularly.  I kinda feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me since I've got my own place... all mine.  I feel "me" in it and I get to make it even more "me". 

I had dinner with D-Man last night and I was telling him how back in last August when he was consoling me and telling me that I will feel a lot better down the road, I was very skeptical.  But he was right, I am feeling a lot better.  In fact, I am wondering if I will actually be able to live with anyone again now that I enjoy so much of having my own place to go to without the distraction of another person or their things, their rules, their expectations.  I understand how people would be protective of their own space now where I didn't understand before.  It is in a way giving up much freedom (but I also understand the trade-offs is worth it if you're ready).  Right now, I'm definitely not ready for the trade-offs.  I have been given this opportunity to really grow into my own skin, realize my full potential, and have lots of silly good times with no obligations to anyone but me (and my little doggie). 

A few friends of mine are working at this startup www.teachstreet.com and through it I was able to find some very interesting local classes that I've always wanted to participate in.  Tonight, I am signing up for the Introduction to Hip Hop Class and possibly a sewing class (I have a sewing machine but forgot how to use it).  I want to create art just for fun and just for me again like I used to do.  Additionally, I want to plant some flowers in my little yard. There is just so fulfilling about growing something directly into the Earth.

In a way, I feel like I am living in the moment more easily than I ever did before.  I am much happier than I ever was and I think it has a lot to do with having a greater understanding of myself and practicing looking at living beings and situations with compassion.  Don't get me wrong, I still have bad days when I think about the uneventful stuff, but I feel like I can deal with it much better as I look at it from the perspective of love. The Dalai Lama is so my hero.

Seriously.  I've been having mini freak outs in my head and not getting any packing done.  I am moving in FIVE days.  FIVE!  Out of those FIVE days I am working THREE of those days.  I've pretty much slept all of Saturday (except for taking Solo to vet then drop her off at boarding school and then going back to vet to pick up meds for her and dropping it off again - she has round worms).  Then I got my ass up at 6pm to do some long overdue poo patrol in the backyard (my least favorite chore) then got myself ready to go meet a few friends for drinks at the W hotel downtown.

This morning, I slept in until 11am and tempted to workout but couldn't finish... probably cuz I am super hungry.  I am looking around at my place and the amount of stuff I need to get done. 

OK, new perspective --

• 1/2 of the shit is already packed since they never got unpacked
• the other 1/2 of the shit can easily be packed and organized or tossed away
• there is only 1 room left to paint because the new tenant asked to paint the other room by themselves

I can do this.  I packed up all my shit from the Snoqualmie house in one day.  I CAN DO THIS.

Somewhere inside of me wants to cry right now.  The utter sadness of it all.  Saying goodbye is never easy, even if it is to a life that was not fulfilling or happy.  It is still a part of you.

New perspective --

• Get to have my very own place and create brand new memories
• Get to decorate how I want it
• Get to create and architect my new life
• Have lots of supportive friends and family that love me
• I can do this, do it well, and have fun
• I've learned so much from the experiences that the hurt/pain has allowed me to feel, love, and be compassionate towards myself
  

Yah, I can so do this. 

Passage for today from "The Places that Scare You" by Pema Chodron:

As Albert Einstein pointed out, the tragedy of experiencing ourselves as apart from everyone else is that this delusion becomes a prison.  Sadder yet, we become increasingly unnerved at the possibility of freedom.  When the barriers come down, we don't know what to do.  We need a bit more warning about what it feels like when the walls start trumbling down.  We need to be told that fear and trembling accompany growing up and that letting go takes courage.  Find the courage to go to the places that scare us cannot happen without compassionate inquiry into the workings of ego.  So we ask ourselves, "What do I do when I feel I can't handle what's going on?  where do I look for strength and in what do I place my trust?"

The Buddha taught that flexibility and openness bring strength and that running from groundlessness weakens us and brings pain.  But do we understand that becoming familiar with the running away is the key? Openness doesn't come from resisting our fears but from getting to know them well.

I am not running away today.  I am going to get to know my fears well... just like when a Jedi needs to get to know and understand the Dark Side in order to achieve the next level.